Family Law Friday: “We Swing Together… Until the Divorce Attorney Shows Up”
When the Open Marriage Stops Being Fun and Starts Being Evidence
So you opened your marriage.
You communicated. You set the rules. You downloaded the apps.
Maybe you even made a color-coded calendar.
You were two grown adults chasing connection, adventure, or just trying to avoid talking about how bored you were.
And for a while?
It worked.
Until it didn’t.
💥 The Downfall of the “Fun” Marriage
One day you’re laughing over mimosas at a brunch-for-swingers.
The next, you’re sitting across from your divorce lawyer wondering how a consensual fantasy turned into a custody dispute with court-printed screenshots.
Let’s be clear: being in an open marriage or swinger lifestyle is not illegal.
But it sure can become a legal liability when:
The agreement wasn’t as mutual as one of you claimed.
Feelings got involved and trust fell apart.
Your swinging life bled into your parenting life.
You left a digital trail of messages that now look like manipulation, coercion, or outright cheating.
⚖️ Legal Ramifications You Didn't Think About (But Should've)
1. Custody Concerns Aren’t Always About Morality—They're About Judgment
Judges in Michigan (and most states) aren’t morality police—but they are watching for instability, poor judgment, and chaotic home environments.
If your weekend parties included guests sleeping over while your kids were home...
Or if there’s even a hint of neglect, emotional fallout, or blurred boundaries?
The court’s not going to applaud your sexual liberation. It’s going to restrict your parenting time.
🧠 Translation: It’s not about your sex life—it’s about whether your decisions put the kids second.
2. Marital Misconduct = Unequal Asset Division
Michigan is a “no-fault” divorce state.
But that doesn’t mean the conduct during the marriage can’t influence property division.
If one spouse can prove emotional abuse, coercion, or that marital funds were used to support new partners (hotel rooms, trips, gifts, etc.), guess what?
The court can absolutely award more assets or spousal support to the less-blameworthy party.
And if you were financing your swinging adventures while your spouse was blindsided and miserable?
That's a big legal yikes.
3. Digital Evidence Is Forever
Screenshots. Group chats. Texts like “Don’t worry, she’s cool with it—she just cries sometimes.”
Every pixel becomes potential evidence in:
Contested custody
Restraining orders (yes, it happens)
Motions for supervised parenting time
Disputes over who emotionally torched the marriage
And if things get ugly, you better believe the other side will subpoena the spicy stuff—especially if it paints you as manipulative or emotionally reckless.
🧃 What About Consent?
Yes, the relationship was “consensual”—until it wasn’t.
What often happens in these divorces is one party claiming the consent was pressured, faked, or revoked long before the last third-party joined the bedroom.
That opens the door to emotional abuse claims, mental health evaluations, and a whole bunch of “this was never really okay” testimony.
🚨 Real Talk From the Courtroom Trenches:
Your open marriage is not automatically a death sentence in divorce court.
But swinging without serious boundaries, documentation, and emotional maturity?
That’s how you end up explaining group chat names like “The Poly Posse” during cross-examination while the judge raises one eyebrow.
🛑 Bottom Line:
Want to open your marriage? Cool.
Want to preserve your sanity, assets, and parenting rights? Even cooler.
But if you're not on the same page—truly—with your spouse…
If the rules are loose, vague, or constantly shifting…
If your kids are anywhere near the emotional fallout?
Then don’t be surprised when you swing straight into litigation hell.
Newburg Law – Your Family. Your Foundation. Your Future.
#FamilyLawFriday #DivorceAfterDark #ConsentDoesntFixChaos
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