📱 Miranda Monday: Text, Snap, Post, Arrest
Your phone is a snitch. And it’s got better reception than your lawyer.
Welcome back to Miranda Monday, the blog series where we beg, plead, and mock you (with love) into understanding your rights—before you end up turning your iPhone into a walking affidavit.
Today’s cautionary tale:
Social media confessions.
Also known as: “Why the cops knew what you did last night before you even sobered up.”
🧠 Dumb Sh*t People Actually Post (Yes, These Are Real):
A video on Snapchat of someone drinking behind the wheel. The caption?
“I’m good, I only had one shot lol 🍻🚗💨”
(They were not good. They were arrested before the story expired.)A TikTok clip showing off a handful of stolen credit cards with trap music playing in the background.
(10/10 for editing. 0/10 for legal strategy.)A guy skipping his court date and bragging about it in an IG story with the caption:
“Judge can wait. I got brunch.”
(Spoiler: the judge didn’t wait.)An Instagram Live from a house party—underage drinking, drugs on the table, and someone with an open warrant walking through the frame like it’s Cribs: Felony Edition.
Here’s a fun legal fact:
Police departments have social media units now.
They scroll. They screen record. They build cases.
And yes—they’re watching your sh*t.
🚔 Your Digital Trail = Their Evidence Folder
You know what else you did?
📍 Geotagged yourself at the scene of the crime.
⏰ Timestamped the moment with a video.
📩 Messaged someone “yo don’t snitch” (they totally did).
🏷️ Got tagged by your mom in a “Proud of my baby!” post with your full name and hometown.
All of this is admissible.
Even the stuff you deleted. Even the DMs. Even the “close friends only” stories.
You didn’t cover your tracks—you paved them in neon, added emojis, and synced them to a trending audio.
🤐 Miranda Tip of the Day:
Just because it looks like content doesn’t mean it’s not evidence.
If you wouldn’t say it out loud in court, or at Thanksgiving dinner, or in front of a nun—don’t post it.
Not on Snap, not in a text, not in your burner Finsta.
Because when the police show up with screenshots, you’ll be wishing your “influencer era” came with a legal team.
Final Thought:
Social media is a highlight reel—until it becomes a mugshot slideshow.
You are not the main character in a true crime docuseries.
You’re just the one who helped the cops build their case… with a ring light and a bad caption.
Post your breakfast.
Post your dog.
Post your gym gains.
Just skip the felonies.
Because once you go viral for “Swipe Season”, your next season might be “Orange Is the New Black: County Edition.”